Disclosure: I was invited to see Ron White’s comedy show in exchange for this post. All opinions here are my own.
On February 28, dirty Blue Collar comedian Ron White sold out the Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, FL, and for good reason. Foul joke after foul joke spewed between puffs of cigar smoke and sips of liquor: there was not a silent moment during the show.
Opening for White was Alex Reymundo, long time friend as well as bartender at the club White first did stand up at. Reymundo’s comedy was clever and sprinkled with puns.
His kids are Hick-spanics (his wife is white). He mentioned that some asked how he felt about immigration: “I’m on the fence”. As for the wall, he said: “Eh, I’m over it”. He ended his set saving the best joke for last, saying that ladies in the Hard Rock called him Paco and asked him to take a picture of them with White, who he was walking around with. The tables turned, though — as soon as he told them he was Santana, the women eagerly vied for selfies with him.
Following was White. The ticket for admission said mature audiences — that was a severe understatement. Not even five minutes into the show, White was taking about eating baby duck p**** lip tacos at the Four Seasons. His show was not for the faint of heart.
White spoke about his time in the Navy where he paid prostitutes $5 for fellatio, calling it the “best deal” he’s seen to date. He even shared pearls of wisdom on vaginal rejuvenation: “You can get vagina rejuvenation but it’s illegal to turn the odometer back on your car… The worst looking c***h still looks better than my ****sack.”
The R rated jokes didn’t stop there. White spoke about how Tiger Woods had the opportunity to sleep with. 82,000 women and only slept with 18. “That’s love,” said White to the roar of laughter. He added that he had a 350 pound friend who never cheated on his wife. With his signature sneer and sarcastic tone, White added, “That must have been really hard” and gave advice to maybe marry a pro frisbee player instead of a good looking pro golfer instead.
He concluded his set with a story about partying with Dr. Phil on his yacht that ended in an arm injury and left to thunderous applause.
“That’s one funny son of a bitch,” remarked an audience member on the way out. Well put, bud.
Click here to purchase Reymundo and White’s tequila, Number Juan.